Don't read this rant if you want to read about sewing or sewing-related activities. I'm going to get this off my chest because last night I was spitting mad.
I had this friend for two years who is suddenly not my friend anymore. Because of inaccurate, misguided information she chooses not to talk to me and blows me off every time I try to cordially approach her. She feels either myself or my husband did a major disservice to her, her husband, or their child. She doesn't have her facts straight at all.
I involved myself in something last summer to try to save the friendship and avoid problems. Sometimes, the best intentions backfire and go awry which is what happened. However, she and her husband do not know how many times my husband has defended and supported their child over the past 18 mos. COUNTLESS times. Their child is beautiful, vivacious, and very talented--DH thinks the world of her. He has been in positions where he has had to defend the father and the child many times to others that have said negative things about them. He has come home, and I've had to listen to this negativity.
Let me say, this wears on people. We both dislike hearing the negative stuff. Problem is, DH is very friendly with the people saying the negative stuff as well as the targets of the negativity. It built up to a point where my DH finally intervened. Now that things are more out in the open, my former friend and her husband appear to be placing all the blame on DH. And some on me.
Why is it you can try to do everything right and it turns out so wrong? I feel disillusioned. Makes me wonder if this person was really my friend at all. Makes me question my judgement about people. They seem very happy to listen to innuendo and hearsay without regard to the facts and history.
In the end, I'm happy this happened sooner rather than later. For all the times my husband did the right thing, defended the husband and the child, only to have the parents blow us off now big time is a wake up call. Perhaps they were never really our friends at all. My question of the day is, if the shoe was on the other foot, would they have done the same for us, defended us? At this point, I'm doubtful.
I have no interest in wasting my time trying to salvage a friendship that maybe wasn't a friendship to begin with. In the past 6 weeks, I have tried 5 times to be approachable, hoping for some type of conversation or discussion to no avail. At this point, I now rid myself of all negativity. This unfortunately means the end of a "friendship". One can blame someone else for their problems for only so long. When that someone "else" is out of the picture, they'll wonder why these problems continue, fester, and grow. Their biggest defender and supporter is now out of the picture--the person they now treat like a pariah.
It is what it is. I can't force someone to see things how they really happened. Can't force a friendship. But I guess one really can't force a frienship that maybe wasn't there to begin with. That's pretty sad. To think highly of someone, then discover perhaps what you admired and respected was an illusion. Kind of reminds you of politics, huh. And that's a whole 'nother story. Now that everything is pretty much said and done with, what I'm left with is distrust. Distrust of myself. Distrust of my feelings in questioning who are good people. Good people with good hearts. That's what bothers me most.
This feeling will dissipate. Give it a a few weeks to a month. Now that we're headed into the winter season, I'll be seeing these people less. Less time to think about this and move on to other things that I feel are truly important. The timing couldn't be any better.
Right now I just want to put this behind me. I'm mad and could spit nails over this so distance is good. One day I may see this person and decide to put everything on the table. Explain the facts. Not with the intent to save a "friendship", but to set the record straight on my end. Sealing the coffin so to speak. Who knows what I'll do in the future, but today I want to spend the day being mad. Tomorrow my plan is to begin to forget about this mess. In a month, it should be a distant memory, just in time for the Christmas seaason.